The End is the Beginning

It's now really deep into the night. I haven't got a clue as to why i'm still up. I'm not quite sure if its insomnia or some sleeping disorder that seems to be hounding me on a daily basis. Even if it is, i think it will come in handy since i'm technically only a 365 days away from joining the rat race in the hell-hole wards.

In a weeks time, i'll be done with semester 8, a semester filled with bittersweet memories which marks the end of my journey as a 4th year medical student and the beginning of life as a final year medical student. I guess the definition of a 'final year medical student' doesn't really do justice as we merely just move on to another year of challenges in a life that practically makes you a student for life. Either way, it's something to savour as it does make you feel some degree of satisfaction that life is moving along and according to plan.

Just looking at the stack of books and journals piled on the table at times and staying in the wards with a morbid patient just makes you wonder if you made the right decision 4 years ago. It's still a question i ask myself till this very day. Is all this sacrifice really worth it? I don't know and I hope I'll survive to find out. Then again, despite medicine being a passion, will passion outlast altruistic sacrifice? Again, I don't know. At the end of the day, it all comes back to one question, What Would Jesus Do?

As time passes, so does important milestones in life. I know eventually one day everyone of my batchmates and myself will graduate but what about other aspects in life. Today marked the birthday of one of my close friends. That itself was a milestone in history. The intricate way of cutting the cake by his girlfriend reminded me of the past where a few of us who were close acquaintances used to celebrate our birthdays together. On each occasion, she would be the one who would be nice enough to cut the cakes for us together with another one of my close pals. Although it's just a small action, it has left a sigificant impact in terms of memories for me. I guess in some way, this is holding on to the past. I just wonder if i'll ever let go and move on with life. Memories... sweet as they are, painful they can be.

Issues, issues, issues.... Many unresolved but hopefully there will be a resolution.



Since this post coincides with the end of my beloved Orthopaedics posting and beginning of Psychiatry, i think this basically portays what life at the moment is like. This is basically what happens when you have reached a dead end and have become somewhat bored with life. Externally fix your son's pink panther with Ilizarov Rings.

Have I reached that stage? I dunno. I hope not.

Peace.

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